Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
