that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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