OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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