I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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