WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize