I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
not ubering you a puppy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
