Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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