Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
