just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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