Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
