Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
