why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
