I just cut my nipple shaving
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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