if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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