I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
