Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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