you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
