your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I love you.
Bad choice
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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