I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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