I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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