Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize