so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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