Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
