OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
