I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
