So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
