i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was like eating out sand paper
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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