Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
