Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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