What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
