If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
