quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just cropdusted the office
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
