I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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