Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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