i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
