It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Im part way to drunk.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
