Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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