Can Purell be used as lube?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
