Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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