I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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