it hurts more in the daytime
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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