That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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