You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
