so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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