Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize