He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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