I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do vagina's smell?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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