Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
