I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
