This girl is more easily done than said...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
this hospital has no fireball
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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