I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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