Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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