I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
