Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
