I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
