you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
