I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
