super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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