So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
