i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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