and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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