omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
