I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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