Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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