It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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