You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
